German hardcore outfit WOLF DOWN have called it a day following a slew of sexual assault allegations.
Two women have made claims against drummer Sven and guitarist Tobi, with the latter speaking out in a post by the band to their Facebook page.
Check out the band’s statement below, and read Tobi’s personal response under that. Follow this link for accounts from the affected women (in German).
“You may or may not have heard of the accusations that are spreading around the internet about a member of our band. As it is a topic, that is very sensitive and important to us, we don’t want to leave it without our comment. We want to express a trigger warning, as this post mentions sexual abuse and rape. Therefore, we are going to separate this introduction from the message itself now by putting some space in between. Last night, two womyn (sic), who had been in different kinds of relationships with our guitarist Tobi, went public with accusations against him for sexual abuse and rape. We are writing this post in the knowledge, that the affected persons demand accounting from our side. Tobi had told us earlier and given his way of dealing with the accusations, we chose to let him speak.”
Tobi’s lengthy response reads as follows (head here for the full thing, the below has been edited for length):
“I met the person that holds the accusations against me, last year in February. During that time, I have to admit, that my sexual self-reflection concerning the right approach to consensual sex had not yet been brought to the same level as my otherwise radical-leftwing convictions. I feel ashamed for that. Before having sex for the first time, we hadn’t talked about our own negative experiences concerning sex, we hadn’t talked about our wishes and, most importantly, about our personal no-go’s. I acted nonreflective and without consideration of the consequences; it never came to my mind that it was wrong to think “if something doesn’t please my partner, she will let me know”, that the guideline shouldn’t be “no means no”, but “yes means yes” and anything less is in fact a “no”. And I was as stubborn as to not simply accept her not feeling well about things, but keeping on discussing with her about it. So basically, during that time I did things to her for which I didn’t ask for her consent, during otherwise nonverbally consensual sex. I am not going into detail out of respect for her own privacy. However, I never noticed that she was feeling bad and I feel incredibly shortsighted not having noticed. Some time later, she told me, that she had been a victim of sexual abuse and rape in childhood and encountered rape by another man before, while she was passed out drunk. She was the first person in my life, who told me about such things from a first hand perspective, so obviously (but yet so unknowingly hypocritical) I was shocked and didn’t really know how to deal with that information. With great shame, I also have to admit that I didn’t realize what my own behavior had meant to her until a few weeks ago. Given the fact, that we had been a couple for months after that, until this years April, having sex, discussing politics, feminist issues and even my behavior, going on holiday together and such, has nothing to do with a slow process of her realizing, what I had done to her. I learnt, that the persons realization of what abusive behavior had meant to her, can take a long time, even years.
I wouldn’t ever want to justify anything I did, I would never want to be one of the assholes that deny or trivialise their actions. I take all the blame for my actions and I’m the only one, who is to blame. I could never deny what I did, most of all because my moral and political principles stay the same, I still stand against patriarchy and I still support the feminist struggle, even if I had to realize that I have been everything I despised for so long, that I played my own part in a system that degrades women and is responsible for their death.
What I’m doing now is consulting a psychotherapist and reflecting on my own abusive behavior, educating myself about the topic, trying and learning about the correct way of having sexual intercourse in a consensual way. I will face the consequences of my behavior, I have to make sure that I will never again hurt another person in a similar way. The women I have been with recently can prove my honest and genuine intentions of accounting for my actions and can also prove that I am changing for the better. But it’s still a long way to go. As a consequence of that, I will be withdrawing from my position as a guitarist for Wolf Down. Please take into consideration that this issue is a very sensitive matter to the women affected, so be respectful and think twice before posting.”
The band called it a day once accusations against fellow member Sven were brought to light. Wolf Down’s appearances on an upcoming tour across Europe with Stray From the Path have now been called off.